Question by rebekah76: What should I do about my husband/marriage at this point?
I have been with my husband for 12.5 years now. Things have always been really good when they are good and really bad when they are bad and often the bad out weighed the good. Over the years he has shown me over and over that he cannot be trusted with both the big and the little things and he also has a bad temper that one never knows when it will surface. We have two absolutely beautiful and amazing children together (ages 9 & 11) and they love their Daddy but . . . in the last 4 years he has been showing an alcoholic nature. He sneaks and drinking, lying about it and then “stops” when I catch him. He had an affair (I left and then came back way too soon) and he lies all the time. A little over a year ago I had had enough, got my confidence up and I finally got my own place and moved out. There was a LOT of begging, some mild stalking behavior on his part, followed by intense marital counseling together and then (after 6 months) I let him move in with me. We moved into a bigger place 3 months ago and I found out yesterday that he is sneaking around (not with women – yet) and drinking again. (for those of you that don’t get it, this will grow to be so out of control to a point where he has to slam a 6 pack on his way home everynight and will start each day with a beer). This man is a con, a salesman and he is good at what he does and he knows it. I am faced with a choice right now to either try to “help” him again while I fear he will just fake his way through and sort of re-hab. OR end a more than 12 year relationship and allow my children to be completely devastated. I am a “marry once, stay together forever” kind of gal and this whole thing is killing me. I just want to be at peace and maybe (strong on maybe because my ability to trust has been ravaged) one day be loved in a way I have always wished for. Should I take care of me? Or should I stay in the cycle that I truly believe in my heart will never end?
My husbans refuses to admit that it is a problem to the point of needing/getting help. He’ll stop for months at a time and once he figures I feel “secure” he’ll start back up so . . . nothing has been done as far as dealing with the alcoholism.

Best answer:

Answer by 72GranTorino
What steps have been taken to deal with the alcoholism?

Answer by Shannon
move away before its too late!!!!

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