Question by levon: I beleive i have gonneheria or chlyamida and i may have accedently infected someone please some advice?
Ok long story short, i am 20 was with this guy who was 16 we had been dating for 5 months going on 6 and upon doing research i found that my state considers age of consent so we had consensual sex and when i say sex we didnt even have anal it was all oral and foreplay . The thing is that like a week later or two i started experiencing a burning sensation when i pee and afterwards i even am starting to see a “white creamy” liquid that comes out periodically from my penis. He claims he is a virgin. I told him about the possibility. Of him being infected and im just afraid that he might tell his parents about us in anger and i fear that if i am wrong about the whole age of consent thing that i couod go to.jail! I didnt even know that he was 16 when i met him he had confessed 3 months after being with him! I am in nursing school i am passionate about what i do nd i am afraid i can loose everything all because of poor judgement and a really potential life shattering situatiob. Please i need some insight about what are the positive outcomes and negative outcomes that can come frok.this situation if i am negative or positive. I begg kindness and understanding i am freaking out right now.and dont know what todo. Thank you. Exuse the typos i am mixed with nerves and a glitchy keyboard.

Best answer:

Answer by destinney
First off, go get tested so you know for sure what you have, if you have anything at all. Both of these infections can be cleared up with antibiotics.

Second, chances are, if you did infect him, he’ll start experiencing symptoms too. You REALLY don’t want him to find out he has an STI by going to a doctor–if he’s a virgin, he’ll know EXACTLY where he got it. Then he REALLY will be mad…especially if he finds out you knew and didn’t tell him. And if his parents found out at that point, you’d be in a world of trouble–not only did you have sex with a minor, but you infected him with STI. Then you knowingly and deliberately didn’t inform him. Take a look at all the court cases out there that involve people who knowingly passed on STIs and didn’t inform their partners…there’s a ton of them.

I recently had to tell my boyfriend that he gave me chlamydia. He didn’t have any symptoms, and had no idea he had it. I, on the other hand, started having some odd symptoms and went to the doctor. Telling my boyfriend what they had found was the most uncomfortable conversation I’ve ever had–even though I knew HE was the one who gave it to me. You need to tell him, and you really need to do it before he starts showing symptoms. Tell him matter of factly, and don’t make it sound like a big deal. It’s basically like an upper respiratory infection “down there.” Explain to him that you had no idea you had it when you were intimate with him, and that it can be taken care of with a simple course of antibiotics. Offer to go with him to the doctor.

If nothing else, and you’re not going to tell him, at least find a way to get him on antibiotics. You cannot let him sit there with an untreated STI, further putting him at risk. And remember, from a strictly selfish point of view—let’s say you get treated for chlamydia or gonnorhea, and he doesn’t. You two get intimate again (which I STRONGLY advise against considering his status as a minor), he’ll pass the infection right back to you. If you can’t tell him (again, I emphasize that he has a right to know, and it’s your responsibility to do so), make sure he still gets treated. It’s generally easy to get a doc to prescribe antibiotics, especially a Z-Pack (which is a drug of choice for chlamydia). I was diagnosed by two separate doctors. I went to an “urgent care clinic” on a Tuesday night and got tested. I was unimpressed with that clinic, so the next day I made an appt with my regular doctor to get checked out. Both diagnosed me with chlamydia (it did take a few days for the tests to come back–I was not diagnosed on the spot). Both wrote me prescriptions for
antibiotics. I got both filled, and gave one to my boyfriend since I knew it would take a couple of days for him to see his own doctor to get treatment. If nothing else, you could do something similar. Give the extra script to him, and tell him you were diagnosed with strep, or something contagious that doesn’t have such a horrible stigma attached. Tell him you don’t want him to get as sick with strep as you did, and insist he take them. As much as I disagree with this scenario, at least it ensures he doesn’t sit there while some infection eats him from the inside out. I was honest with my boyfriend–although he acknowledged that he was the one who brought the infection into our relationship (I hadn’t been intimate with anyone since my divorce 1.5 years prior), I never tried to place blame, nor did I get angry. He didn’t know he was sick, and I had made the decision to engage in unprotected sex, making me responsible, as well. I didn’t have to come up with an excuse for him to take antibiotics.

Either way, you need to get tested, then you need to make sure he gets treatment.

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