Question by Amber: I need help feeling better!!?
So, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago. He always lied to me about going to the casino, so when I found out he was STILL going after the 10th time we had had the same argument, I decided I had to keep my promise to myself that if he did it again, I would break up with him. Anyway, he said he would do whatever he could to keep me, so he went and had himself banned from the casino and i thought that was a good step. However, about a week later I showed up to hang out with him and found out he was doing cocaine. He had never done this before (from my knowledge) and he told me he did it cause “he’s going through a hard time.” I was really hurt that he would do that, especially because my dad was addicted to that and it was HORRIBLE. So, I left, changed my number so he couldn’t contact me anymore. I’m just feeling really sad because I am in love with him and its so hard not to feel hurt about everything. I was with him a year and a half and he was my *ahem…first…. I guess I just need some reassurance I did the right thing. Thanks.
Andrew- Thank you! I did do that! I would tell him to come to me and just talk to me if he goes to the casino again. I was more upset about the fact that he lied than his gambling problem and I told him that, but he still lied again and again. I do want to be there for him, but nothing I do seems to work. I’ve tried being nice and saying id be there for him and I’ve also tried being mean, giving him an ultimatum that if he lied again, I was gone. I have had the serious conversation MANY times.. I love him, so thats why i never gave up and it’s still really hard to walk away. You really think I should give him another chance?

Best answer:

Answer by Andrew Blackwall
you did the right thing…none of us take loosing our first easy. maybe it took you leaving for him to turn his life around. if he started getting into cocain and you stayed with him it could have became a terrible situation for you both! he could have became abusive and you may have become too afraid to leave then been traped in years of abuse! or he might have kept doing cocain and ended op Overdosing or getting shot in a drug deal! you did a very brave and selfless act by leaving him. you may have even saved him. this shows that your love is true for this man. its understandable that you feel guilty but you probably were also shocked at first when you found out about the drug use and because you know someone with a prior experiance with it it made you even more upset and angry. sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love seems bad. stop feeling bad because what you did is good. i personaaly think you should talk one last time to him and just say straight up “if you love me your going to quit gambling and doing drugs” and let him know that he can come to you in his hard time and that you love him. if he keeps on like he is just leave and never go back. if he changes then give him a final chance i think you should have a serious talk with him though as i said and be sure to make it clear that you love him and he doesent need drugs or gambling bacause you are here for him 24/7 for anything 🙂 i hope i helped and best of luck

Answer by Paul G
It is always very tough to find out that WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS NOT ACTUALLY THE TRUTH….AND YOU HAVE BEEN MISLEAD, but let me ASSURE YOU….Assholes come in all sizes, shapes, colors and creeds, please DO NOT be in a hurry to FALL IN LINE BEHIND HIM……….OK????……………..YOU DID GOOD KID!!!!!!!…..MAKE THE SAME TOUGH DECISIONS IN THE WORLD THAT IS AHEAD OF YOU……..OK??? PROMISE ME…AND YOURSELF??????……………………..Paul G.

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